Burdens

I haven't been reading or studying anything in particular in the Bible, but last night I opened it and decided to turn to Matthew and read the verses my sister had sent me the day before...

"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light. " -19:28-30

All of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens... I will give you rest.
Burdens--we all have them, accept them, and deal with them differently... but the verse struck me differently this time. I thought about what "burdens" I need to be giving up to the Lord, what struggles or problems I need to let go of and learn to trust Him with... but then I got lost looking around at my room, thinking about how the simple things around me...my pillow, my Bible, the cold glass of water sitting on my bedside table, are all things I take for granted.
I thought about how incredibly lucky I am to have a quite place to come home to. I have a place to rest and be with the Lord and I find so much comfort in the fact that this will remain a constant in my life, even if everything else changes in the next few years.

So what burdens do I really have...?

I go to school two days a week and observe and sometimes teach in an 8th grade class. My students deal with so much on a daily basis...so much that I can't even wrap my sheltered mind around.
I have kids with kids. Kids with parents in jail. Kids whose last names change on a weekly basis depending on where and who they are staying with that week. Kids sharing rooms with multiple family members. Kids that are the head of their household... the oldest person in charge most of the time.
These same kids drive me crazy, make me laugh, and break my heart... but they are just kids...and their burdens have become mine.
I can't make sure these kids have a quiet place to rest. I can't even make sure they have water.
I can't save their lives.
But I can pray.
I can do my best with them during the day and pray hard for them at night.

I have been given a quiet place to rest and a comfortable life. I will never understand why I have and others haven't... but maybe I have been given this place that I am in--this situation--this classroom, to pray. Because I am beginning to think that given the circumstances, praying is the best I can do for these kids.

Last week I held a student who was in tears thinking about her parents who have both passed away. She is twelve years old... I didn't know what to do besides hug her...so I did.
Today a student came in class and told me he broke two ribs playing football. Football his his whole life. He told me last week he hoped to play at A&M or TCU someday. I know that he won't be allowed to play his senior year of high school because he will be too old...and it breaks my heart. Today he stood quietly in the back of the class taking notes because it hurt too much to sit.

All I can do is pray.
I want to teach them, I want to be a light in their lives and I want them to be smarter humans when they leave my classroom... but I have to pray.
I don't know if that is why I am at this school now...but I think it is all I can do... take their burdens and give them to the Lord...and find rest for my soul.